Let’s do this!
I seriously can’t believe it’s been six weeks since I’ve last posted anything. The days go by so fast! It probably just means I’m getting older and forgetting things more often. I blame the aging process.
You’ll be happy to know, that I’ve been working hard on a new book. Yay! I mentioned it in one of my previous posts. It’s hard to find time to write, while working a full-time job, but it can be done. Work. Write. Sleep. Repeat. I borrowed some directions from the back a shampoo bottle. My hair is super clean. Don’t judge me. It helped. The directions, not the shampoo. Although, the shampoo helped too, but on a totally different level.
This is a hilarious book, from a business and customer service perspective.
If you work in customer service and never had a bad day, never had a customer yell at you and never met someone who made you wonder who the hell tied his or her shoelaces, this book isn’t for you.
But if you deal with customers day after day who drive you insane, give you reasons to drink alcohol, or make you want to quit your job and run home screaming, this book is definitely for you. And maybe a few of your friends. Rest assured, you are not alone.
This book (Title TBD) is inspired by true events, and a bold woman (who may or may not be a ninja warrior) with her fearless approach to running a used car lot in a crazy world. Julia’s hilarious outbursts, unexpected meltdowns and dealings with customers (who show signs of the Stupid Virus) will have you scratching your a**, because scratching your head won’t be good enough.
Customer service and Julia’s home life will never be the same again. It’s a good thing Julia is married to Romeo!
Also, it’s rated “L” for bad language. Yeah, curse words are in this book. They jumped right in and my backspace/delete button stopped working. I blame technology. So basically, it’s for the mature audience, not children. Sorry, kids! You’ll need to wait until you’re eighteen years old.
Long story short, a voiceover artist suggested I try doing the audio myself. I was like, “What? She has lost her mind, because I don’t have one of those super sexy voices who get paid a ton of money to record audiobooks and do commercials on the radio.” In the end, she was right. Only an author can tell a story based on true events. Then the anxiety and questions started to set in. How would I do it? What if I mess up? What will my voice sound like?
While I was debating on renting a soundproof studio, I started doing research on recording studios at home, because I didn’t feel like driving an hour away each time I had to do a recording. So, I decided to give it a try. If I fail, at least I can say, “I tried.” Cheer me on, people! I don’t want to fail. But if I do, then I’ll rent a professional sound proof studio and have them do the editing too. It’s a good idea to have a back-up plan. It usually helps when you need it.
The book is currently with an editor and we’re going back and fourth about a few things to make it the best it can be. Meanwhile, I’m playing around with my snazzy new microphone and learning how to edit with the audio software. YouTube tutorials helps a lot!
To be honest, YouTube helps with a ton of stuff like, how to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew, how to tie shoelaces properly and how to be a super awesome ninja. These are very important things to know and learn! Yeah, YouTube is totally awesome. You should probably check it out. Just so you know, I’m not getting any money mentioning YouTube or providing the links. But if YouTube wants to send me some money, I’ll gladly accept it. An awesome recording studio costs money. Just sayin’.
Above and below, you’ll find the audio clip of my first try at this audiobook recording stuff. I was so excited I wanted to post it twice! If I do decide to record the entire audiobook, I won’t have any reading mistakes. That statement alone lets you know I messed up a few times. My human DNA is not spliced with some super alien who knows how to do everything perfect. But I’m having a ton of fun doing this.
I only recorded part of a chapter. Consider it a teaser. You. Are. Welcome. Just so you know, this book isn’t about women’s rights, although this clip might lead you to believe that it is. I’m just blowing off a little steam (call it a rant) in this section. I just figured with the current presidential campaign going on, that it was actually the perfect clip to record and post at this time.
It’s 3:45 AM and I have an early meeting in the morning and work straight afterward. I’ll be a zombie tomorrow. But I wanted to share a little something about what inspired me to write this book. Earlier this year I read (actually listened to the audiobook) Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson – The Bloggess. Jenny is also on Twitter HERE. Furiously Happy is now my favorite funny book and so far, one of the best books I’ve read in 2016. Jenny doesn’t hold back and tells it like it is and I admire her for it. Her book is on a totally different subject than mine, but I realized we all struggle with different things. We have to learn how to deal with our problems and issues and move forward in life the best way we know how.
For many years, I’ve kept notes about the crazy stuff that happened on our car lot and one day Barbie came to visit our business. I nearly lost it, although I kept my composure and didn’t have a meltdown (not that day anyway). After Barbie left, I wrote everything down and began wondering what I was going to do with all those notes. That’s when Furiously Happy popped into my mind. I thought to myself, “If Jenny can be honest and tell it like it is, then so can I.”
While going through edits, someone sent me an email and suggested if I hadn’t read it already, to read, “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson.” He went on to say, that it was one of the funniest books he’s ever read. I replied back and told him that I had indeed read it and suggested he read Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson, because it was one of the funniest books I’ve ever read. We could totally be friends. Not the person suggesting the book (I mean, I like my editor and all), I’m referring to Jenny.
Anyway, this book idea didn’t come from a dream or my imagination. It’s based on true events and the main character, Julia, develops a crazy obsession. She blames the car lot.
Rest assured, this audio clip doesn’t contain any bad language or kissing or guns or cricket killers. But it does contain information about one beautiful Barbie with blonde hair, gasoline jugs and the car lot owner (me) who wants to snap her fingers and draw the letter “Z-formation” in the air.
I’m off to bed. Enjoy!
P.S. This is not the final edited version. By the time the book and this section have gone through the entire editing process, things will probably be a little different or a lot, and it’ll flow much better without so much repetitiveness. I was just having fun with my new microphone and getting a little ahead of myself.